The Diary: Morning is a Long Time Coming...

Mistress of darkness...
my heart etched with pain,
filled with disdain...
the darkness, it...it
whispers my name...
the Darkness,
the Lioness,
she's always hunting...
morning is a long time coming....


As the sun sinks below the horizon...prelude to the night


The darkness creeps out...seducing my senses
smelling my fear...
I desperately search for light or knight's armor 
to hinder what I know is drawing near she caresses me slowly, like a mother shielding a child


And all I can I do is hug her with tears in my eyes....weary, of her treacherous wilds...
but just like an abused child I cling to my abuser...
comfortable and uncomfortable by the constant confusion


Headaches that lead to heartaches that lead to heartbreaks 
that make the soul shake and wash my body with sweat....
as I awake from my nightmares screaming your name...
...only to look around and see it was all in vain
all I have is the darkness. She is mine to claim.
she...caresses me with pain, assists in my strain
tickles my struggle, fragments my mind like a...cheap, scenic puzzle. 


The darkness
the lioness 
she's always hunting...
morning is a long time coming






~Yours Truly, Miss Niah

We'll change the pace and just go slow....

The Truth: Quote of the Day

“I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't done.” 
-Lucille Ball

The Diary: The Righteousness...

Last night, we spent the night talking...

we spent the night walking, 

through each other's minds...

amazed at what was found and

staggered by the spiritual bounds

that were broken

prayers and whispers were spoken...

and payments of...love in unspoken tokens....

Spirituality that shattered a fragmented reality....

a bond that couldn't be understood, but only felt,

powerful enough to restore her health,

powerful enough to...to unite a sinner and a saint...

beautiful enough for a dilettante to paint....

But what is this?

could something so powerful get lost, in the midst?

A sinner and a saint you say?

A sinner who is lost in her ways?

A saint whose divinity will not allow him to sway?

A controversy that will not allow naturalization to make it's play?

An innocent bond now bound with fraught....

All because one lost soul couldn't control her heart

It pains the sinner to see...that for once her imperfections and impurity can't be accepted...by he

For he cannot accept what he cannot see....

And so invisible am I, that he cannot accept me...

~Yours Truly Miss Niah

*just a little diddy that fell from my heart 

When the road looks rough ahead...

The Truth: Quote of the Day

"In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by."
-Lucille Ball

The Diary: Mrs. Lonely

 Ami. Cara. Tomodachi. Mitra. Rafiki. There are a thousand ways to say it...and very few people can give true meaning to the term. Friend. What is a friend? Anyone can rattle off a checklist of what they believe is a friend; loyal, protective, honest, and the list may go on; but lately I've questioned the term lately. You see, a dog is loyal. Parents are protective. Money never lies. So if I have all of these things do I need a friend? There are some who may say..."You can't talk to a dog" or "You can't tell you're parents everything." Some may say "Money can't buy happiness." While these statements are very true my reason in stating them is to simply point out that while these three examples may not apply to everyone, think of what you believe is a true friend. Then open your mind and  search your heart. Are the qualities you listed valid? Can they not be found in something or someone that isn't a friend? If you believe that the qualities you've listed and the relationships you have are equated to being a good friend then maybe this isn't the article for you. But if you are willing to open your mind and see where I'm heading...continue reading because I promise at the very least it will be interesting.

What is the dictionary definition of a friend?  

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc..
5. ( initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

     Now remember that list of qualities I asked you to do? Are any of the qualities you stated on this list? If they are on this list, can they not be found in anyone? Are you not fond or attached to your family? Can't a police officer assist you?  Are you not on good terms with the mailman, teacher, or any person you come into contact with without having hostility? Do you not share the nation and political parties with thousands if not millions, of people you don't know? If you're not a Quaker, the fifth definition doesn't even apply at all. So going by the definition wouldn't everyone in some aspect, be your friend at one point in your life? This is my point exactly. Are your friends who they say they are or are they strangers? Are they positive forces or constant criticism? Is having someone damage your heart and ego worth a few laughs, a couple memories, and some flash photography for facebook (or twitter)? Sometimes the most hurtful things come from the people who are supposed to love us the most. But looking at the definition, they are only living up to the true meaning of the word if not breaching it's simple doctrines. There are no prerequisites of loyalty, bond, love, or honesty in this word. Looking at the definition made me realize that maybe we hold the term "friend" in too high of regard and maybe...when a "friend" disappoints us, they are living up to the expectations of the word; of being a person that we are attached to simply by feelings...being someone who may help us from time to time. 
      As for me? I'm done with friends....absolutely done. Not to say that I will throw away all of the relationships I've built, the love that has grown, and the memories that are made. But I will find a better term for these people. One with more meaning, one that isn't just a summation of basic human decency. As for all of my "friends..." thanks for your services...but they're no longer needed...I don't need the basics, I want more.








~Yours Truly Miss Niah


*look for a vlog on part 2 soon :-)